Aur Mere Liye? Are You Making Enough Me-Time In Your Life?

I heard an interesting lecture by a professor at IIT Bombay a few months ago. It was essentially on setting goals but he brought up an intriguing point during his talk. He spoke about the importance of a "work-life-me" balance rather just a "work-life" balance.

This concept was not new to me but it was coined so cleverly that it stuck with me for days and months later. More than anything, it got me thinking of how this theory is so seldom put into practice.

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Several things take precedence before we give ourselves and our own pursuits any time. We have to complete work assignments, catch up on the news, be there for a family wedding, finish up a child's homework or take a friend to a doctor. And once all this is done, energy is depleted, the mood has changed and the passion to do anything just fizzles out.

Why do we put "me-time" last on our list? Is it a cultural phenomenon? Is it our altruistic genetic coding? Why are we so afraid to say, "Aur mere liye?" like the tall man in that advertisement on TV we saw so many years ago? Why are we afraid to reclaim time that belongs to us in the first place? Do people around us put us on a guilt trip? Or have we simply not understood the real value of me-time?

Me-time is essentially keeping aside some time to follow your heart's calling. This could be anything from playing an instrument, to listening to music of your choice, meditating in silence, penning a short story, trying your hand at cooking or taking a walk in the park. It's time that you spend with yourself, understanding who you are and what you do well. Me-time moments go toward making you a more 'whole' person, giving you those extra shades and edges. Me-time helps you feel more complete, more content, more one with yourself. And finally, away from the world's gaze, it brings out the truest expression of yourself.

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As a child, I got me-time when I was learning how to play the sitar. Those early morning sessions and late evening practices after wrapping up my homework, were complete bliss! As I learned, I grew. It enhanced my creativity, made me disciplined and increased my concentration.

Cut to college - many distractions, more books to read, new subjects to learn. And the sitar stared at me from a corner, sad and abandoned.

Then came a job - time to build a career, make a name and leave a mark. But this time without a tear in the eye, the sitar was passed on to a young enthusiastic cousin just beginning to learn.

Do I feel bad? Of course.
Can I go back in time? Not a chance.
Will I start playing the sitar again? Maybe.

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But until then I make time to stay connected with my passion for music. I go to music stores regularly, stock up on new CDs, attend concerts in the city, catch up on music fests and gigs whenever I can. I may not play anymore but I keep music a part of me, separate from my work, separate from my life... it is purely for me.

Making me-time is about finding the right balance. It's about not doing too much or too little. It's about sometimes saying "no" when you would have otherwise said "yes". It's about changing unyielding habits, cutting out the unnecessary, doing away with limiting beliefs and making small changes that go a long way.

Here are 5 ways to help you find some precious me-time in your busy schedule:

1.	Catch the first rays of the sun: The early bird not only catches the worm but gets enough time to do everything and more. Get an edge by waking up a tad bit earlier than you normally do and see the number of hours and minutes you add to your day. Even better start your day with some me-time activity... this will bring peace and positivity to the rest of your day.
2.	Wear blinkers to focus on essentials: Do what is absolutely urgent and important first. Then spend time on the less important stuff. Try and delegate jobs that you don't need to do yourself. And don't feel obligated to be a part of every 'happening' event. Go for things that matter and skip the rest for more me-time.
3.	Create your own rhythm and flow: Create a schedule that works for you. Account for the time needed to get various things done and then account for contingencies. Build systems that help you do more and stay more organised. Don't procrastinate as taking something forward only means reducing your time for other activities. So keep a discipline, get rid of sloth and see your life get much freer.
4.	Don't indulge in too much gossip: Yes, this is probably one of the most wasteful past-times of our life and we have all indulged in it at some point or another. When we talk less about other people, we both curb negativity and bring back more focus into our own lives. Social media is just another extension of gossip - browsing other people's photos will take away time from your own life and reduce several hours that could otherwise be put to good use.
5.	Bring together work and hobbies: The perfect job is one which is an extension of your hobby. But that's an ideal world, largely for chefs, authors, artistes etc. But there's no reason why you can't combine your work with your hobbies - listen to soothing music on headphones at the end of the work day, choose a project which has travel if it excites you or better still think of a venture for your company that matches your passion.

Is me-time at the bottom of your list too? Tell us what you do to clear your calendar and free your day.