'An Extraordinary Relationship Requires Support and Sacrifice...' - Common Sense Living Newsletter
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'An Extraordinary Relationship Requires Support and Sacrifice...'

Nov 05, 2016

'An Extraordinary Relationship Requires Support and Sacrifice...' 

Pursue your passion, work with your intuition, learn as a child, and adapt as water.' - The Suitable Inheritor, Pushpendra Mehta

He's an alumnus of Northwestern University (USA). He has a background in marketing, public relations, and communications. He founded VCherish.com - an online news media and eBooks publishing company. But his latest avatar is his true love...

Pushpendra Mehta calls himself an 'authorpreneur' (author-entrepreneur). He has written three books, two non-fiction: Win the Battles of Life & Relationships and Tomorrow's Young Achievers, and one fiction - his latest book - The Suitable Inheritor.

I read the The Suitable Inheritor almost in one sitting. It's an engrossing novel with a fine understanding of the dichotomies prevalent in today's relationships. Yes, the world is fraught with confused and convoluted relationships, and our understanding of them is only reducing. That's probably why Pushpendra wrote the book - to help us resolve some of these entanglements in our lives.

The title intrigued me... Is anyone a 'suitable inheritor' anymore? And if so, what does it take to be one? Pushpendra's novel merely scratched the surface of my curiosity... I wanted to get a deeper account of the travails of modern-day relationships directly from him.

So I wrote to Pushpendra, got his full story, and got him to answer my questions about what it takes to have a happy relationship...what it takes to be a successful novelist...and how one can successfully mix writing with entrepreneurship...

Pushpendra poured his heart and mind into the answers...

When did you know you wanted to be an author...how did the journey begin?

While in graduate school, at Northwestern University, I met with Lee Heubner (an alumnus of Harvard University; also publisher and CEO of the International Herald Tribune). He suggested I write a book, and learn how to deliver speeches... 'Authors are often called to make speeches,' he said. I took his advice seriously and wrote my first book in 2006.

I am fortunate to have grown up in a family that adopted the best of Eastern and Western thought and culture. I am equally lucky to have experienced the richness of life that comes through interaction with the 'underprivileged' and the 'privileged', the 'powerless' and the 'powerful'. Additionally, the magnificence of my varied life experiences has enhanced my understanding of human behaviour, success, life, and relationships.

Through my books, I write about the essence of life and its connection to all forms of existence (personal and professional) - relationships. As a storyteller, my written voice is largely about self-discovery, extraordinary success, true love, and profound relationships... All with an aim to meaningfully make a difference in readers' lives.

In The Suitable Inheritor, the protagonist aims at becoming the world's best relationship coach taking on the mantle from his mentor... What qualities does one need to become a good inheritor/successor in life and in business?

The Suitable Inheritor in life and in business will remember that true happiness is about forging relationships to build the extraordinary - be it an extraordinary life or extraordinary success. The fitting successor will develop the ability to deal with complicated relationships, diverse mindsets, and shades of life.

'Suitable inheritors' will find a mentor or ask for help, even if smart or capable, and befriend people who are achievers and believers. They will recognize that, irrespective of accolades and experience, it is prudent to always stay a student...thirsting for continual learning, change, adaptability, and heightened self-belief.

What are the factors hindering today's relationships? And, how can one work on cementing firmer relationships?

Lack of compassion, radical individualism, impatience, and an inability to accept other perspectives hinder today's relationships. Meaningful relationships require compassionate communication and a high level of acceptance to thrive.

A happy relationship means working on adopting the same interests, condoning faults, accepting quirks or a different temperament, providing room to experiment, space to evolve, and more importantly, honing the ability to have long conversations. With age, conversation skills become as imperative as any other aspect of a fulfilling relationship.

When should you give up on a relationship and when should you hold on to one?

The word relationship is being taken for granted these days. It is the most powerful human connection as everything revolves around it. An evolved or deep relationship is a fabric of emotions woven with adoration, adaptability, support, companionship, care, conversation, commitment, understanding, generosity, sacrifice, respect, freedom, and trust.

This possibly explains why it is best to give up on a relationship that is utterly devoid of the aforesaid emotions. Equally important it is to hold onto a relationship that delineates at least a few of the aforementioned emotions.

Would you say relationships have got more fragile in this era, and if so, why?

We are living in a world replete with unhappiness, loneliness, depression, insecurity, failed or broken relationships. I believe that an extraordinary relationship and an exceptional success story have one thing in common: They both require support and sacrifice.

Unfortunately, modern lives are getting more complicated, hollow and incomplete because we live in an era where we expect, want, and desire, but do not wish to give, gratify, or reciprocate...where we have double-standards, but call the other a hypocrite.

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What are your struggles as an author? Do you experience writer's block; if so, how do you overcome it?

I struggled with the thought that I am unique and have a story nobody else has. This was a huge impediment to overcome... Fortunately, I got sage advice 'to write to make a difference' and 'to leave a legacy to be remembered by'. This counsel always helps me write without fear of failure or rejection.

I also revisit my golden rules for writing -

  • I have a story nobody else has
  • Writing is about adept storytelling
  • Invest in words
  • Write a page every day
  • Write about what you know or enjoy
  • Take yourself very seriously as a writer, yet step aside from time to time to reflect on your writing
  • Connect with fellow writers
  • Read and exercise vigorously
  • Introspect and observe
  • Converse with interesting and wise people

These rules always assist me in overcoming the sporadic writer's block.

Were there any challenges in the publishing process? Did you face rejections, multiple edits?

After writing two non-fiction books, I decided to make the leap to writing fiction. This was an intensive journey that involved travel, incalculable cups of tea, long hours of writing, and six rounds of editing and rewriting. The most challenging part in The Suitable Inheritor was the placement of three very different worlds (Chicago, Peru, and India) into the context of a single story.

The biggest rejection I faced was from a few sceptical, yet well-known names in the publishing world. But rejection is a big turn on for me. It encourages me to get better as a writer. As an author, if you have an open mind and a big heart, your book or novel will be a success.

I found The Suitable Inheritor extremely cathartic, probably because the topic was handled in such a candid and absorbing manner... What did the book do to you personally?

The Suitable Inheritor is a constant reminder for me to talk the talk and walk the walk too for continual happiness in varied relationships. As a novelist who writes about people, life, and relationships, I have begun to believe that each person has different ways of seeking happiness in life and relationships.

Happy relationships are synonymous with the kind of connections and associations we create. The bibliophile finds meaning in books, the wise in sagacious company, the socialite in material trappings, the spiritual seeker in profundity, the money lender in money, and the actor in acting. This must be understood to manage complex human relationships better.

How have you seen yourself evolve as an author and as a person?

When you pursue your passion with your heart, soul, and mind completely immersed into it, endless commercial, intellectual, and spiritual possibilities open up. These hone your growth as a person and also enable you to exert influence on your mind for it can be your best ally or worst enemy.

Also, my journey as an author is the relentless pursuit to become better at what I do. This results in continual self-reflection and the courage to reveal the emotional truths inside of me.

You are an entrepreneur, author, and consultant. Which avatar do you like best?

I enjoy being an authorpreneur the most... When you write books, they can have a big impact across the world given the power of the digital world and its reach. My books have been read in North America, UK, Latin America, Italy, India, Australia, Spain, Netherlands, Germany, and several parts of Asia, and have resulted in meaningful connections.

I encourage more people to write books and build their business with books for it can serve as a change agent that is more powerful than being a mere entrepreneur or consultant. But a leap of faith is a must irrespective of whether you are an author, entrepreneur, or consultant... It allows you to think big and bold, and pursue your dream!

An excerpt from the novel The Suitable Inheritor by Pushpendra Mehta

"Thank you for inviting me," I replied. "It is truly an honor to be in your presence. You have had an enormous impact in the lives and relationships of tens of thousands of people."

I liked the way we shook hands. His body language was positive and his grip firm. Never did he take his eyes off me. He had relocated from Chicago to Lima two years earlier, and had over the last four years built up a thriving relationship-coaching enterprise that boasted of a big clientele base across the Americas and Europe.

Andrew had invited me to Lima to speak to his younger clients on important attributes that influenced success in professional and personal relationships. I discovered later that this was a pretext. At the time he was exploring the possibility of finding a worthy successor. He wanted to hand the baton of his business to an upcoming and credible relationship coach, who exemplified sensitivity toward varied cultures and demographics, believed in continual learning and change, and, more importantly, whose target audience was young minds. He believed, as did I, that it's the young who can best shape the destiny of a nation. Andrew was looking to share his success with a suitable relationship coach, and apparently he had set his eyes on me as a possible worthy heir.

I ran a very successful relationship-coaching venture for young minds in Chicago, or so Andrew thought. This was partially correct. My advisory service was up-and-coming, and had received most of its clients through a reporter's glowing review about my work, which was featured in a prominent Chicago newspaper. Andrew had erroneously assumed the complimentary media coverage was an indicator of a hugely successful coaching practice. But things aren't always exactly what they seem. Publicity and word-of-mouth marketing can sometimes conceal reality and make a fairly successful business venture appear gargantuan.

I had been overwhelmed and ecstatic when he wrote to invite me to address his young clients. An invitation from him would attract the attention of prominent media companies, leading to big-time fame. He was providing a golden opportunity for me to define my career and turn my moment in the sun into a permanent stay. Paradoxically, I was also entertaining the pretentious thought that Andrew needed my insights, that I had something special to offer him. As if this was not enough, a few days after I received his invitation, I inanely began to cast aspersions on his motive of inviting me to Lima. Why would a mega-relationship adviser waste his precious time over a puny competitor? Was I truly a competitor? I told myself to be vigilant, that forewarned was forearmed, and yet I knew that a one-on-one meeting with him could be one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.

I had heard that the key to his success was a willingness to learn from his competitors, big or small. Andrew, I was told, maintained a list of emerging and leading relationship coaches across the Americas and Europe. He would invite the most notable relationship coaches to his home in Lima to collate their different ideas and to profit from their insights and experiences.

When he extended an invitation to me, I thought it might be for the same reason. I decided to accept it since I believed that a single conversation with a distinguished relationship coach could open up diverse paths for me that I had not yet explored. I didn't have anything to lose. It was Andrew who had something to lose, while I had lots to gain.

After we shook hands, Andrew asked if I would mind coming to his home for lunch. "This will allow us an opportunity to open up to each other," he explained. "I'm really looking forward to hearing more about your philosophy about relationships."

"That would be a pleasure. I wouldn't be encroaching on your valuable time or private space?" I replied.

"Mike, if I may call you that, it's an honor to have a person of your eminence grace my abode, and if it makes you feel any better, I only invite select people to my home."

Andrew, renowned as he was, was surprising me with his unassuming nature, amiable temperament, and sense of exclusivity. I was beginning to succumb to his charm, and therein I realized the difference between him and me. Andrew was miles ahead of me, because he had the uncanny ability to make a rival feel larger than life, while he dwarfed his persona in the competitor's presence.

PS: Pushpendra Mehta is an authorpreneur, successfully combining the two important facets of writing and entrepreneurship in his life. Do you too harbour dreams of setting out on your own and pursuing a passion close to your heart? If so, we have the perfect solution for you, our 21-day online course will give you the tools and tactics you need to start your business. Check out the Indipreneur Launchpad Course to know more.


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1 Responses to "'An Extraordinary Relationship Requires Support and Sacrifice...'"


06 Nov, 2016

Hi Ritika, Very good article. Will motivate many like me to start writing. You may further may selelct a topic and do hand holding to teach actual steps for writing. That will help dificult starters to make a beginning. Thanks Manu


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